“The energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control”
The internal war that we wage with ourselves can and will become a millstone around our neck.
Surrender to the fact that you are not at the place where you expected to be at this stage of your life–either physically, spiritually, or financially–well, if you are lost, you are going to need, first of all, to know where you are; and, secondly, where you want to be. For after all, many of us employ the shotgun approach to our future “I’ll just aim over there and see what I hit,” instead of having a rifle approach where we take dead aim at what we want and focus on that. We stand a much better chance at success with this approach. Remember, another one of our foundational beliefs is if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time.
So here is a useful acronym for you to remember: F.O.C.U.S.—-Follow One Course Until Successful.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate” Carl Jung
The following tool will help you decide how surrendered you are to change. And from there, we can determine what course to take to get your life back on track. This is our purpose at Mind Peace Mastery, eliminating destructive habits to empower people to embrace their future.
So let’s get started. Read the following and give yourself an honest evaluation of your status in surrendering to change.
In the pre-contemplation stage, people are not thinking seriously about changing and are not interested in any kind of help. People at this stage tend to defend their current destructive habits and do not feel they are a problem. They may be defensive in the face of other people’s efforts to pressure them to change. They are in denial. Are you in the precontemplation stage? No. Because the fact that you are reading this shows that you are already ready to consider that you may have a problem with one or more destructive habits.
- Stage Two–Contemplation
In the contemplation stage, people are more aware of the personal consequences of their destructive habits, and they spend time thinking about their problems. Although they are able to consider the possibility of changing, they tend to be ambivalent about it. In this stage, people are on a teeter-totter, weighing the pros and cons of whether or not to change and modify their behavior. Although they think about the negative aspects of their destructive thinking and the positive aspects associated with it, they may doubt that the long-term benefits associated with changing their destructive habits will outweigh the short-term costs. Pain is your friend at this point. The more painful our circumstances are, the more prone we are to make changes. And it might take as little as a couple of weeks or as long as a lifetime to get through the contemplation stage. In fact, some people think and think and think about giving up their destructive habits and may die never having gotten beyond this point. On the plus side, in this stage, people are more open to receiving information about their destructive habits and more likely to actually use educational interventions and reflect on their own feelings and thoughts concerning their destructive habits.
- Stage Three-—Preparation or Determination
In the preparation or determination stage, people have made a commitment to make a change. Their motivation for changing is reflected by statements such as, “I’ve got to do something about this,” “This is getting serious,” “Something has to change,” “What can I do?” This is sort of a research phase. People are now taking small steps towards their future. They are trying to gather information by reading things like this about what they need to do to change their destructive behaviors.
- Stage Four-—Action or Willpower
This is the stage where people believe they have the ability to change their behavior, and they are actively involved in taking steps to change their destructive habits by using a variety of different techniques. This is the shortest of all the stages. The amount of time people spend in action varies. It generally lasts about six months, but this stage can literally be as short as an hour. This is the stage when people most depend on their willpower. They are making overt efforts to change their behavior. People in this stage tend to be open to receiving help and are also likely to seek support from others, such as people here at Mind Peace Mastery. Hopefully, they will then move to Stage Five, the maintenance stage, or the rest of your life.
- Stage Five-—Maintenance
This stage involves being able to successfully avoid going back to your destructive habits. The goal in the maintenance stage is to maintain the status quo. People in this stage tend to remind themselves of how much progress they have made. People in maintenance consistently reformulate the rules in their lives and are acquiring new skills to deal with life to avoid reverting back to their old ways of thinking. They are able to anticipate the situations in which they can see that their thinking will cause them to revert back to their old thinking. They remain aware that they are striving for a personally worthwhile and meaningful life. They are patient with themselves and recognize that it often takes a while to let go of their old ways of thinking and old patterns, and they practice new ones until they are second natu
re to them. Even though they may have thoughts of returning to their old destructive habits, they resist the temptations and stay on track.
As you progress through your own stages of change, it can be helpful to reevaluate your progress in moving up and down through these stages. Even in the course of one day, you may go through several different stages of change. And, remember, it is normal and natural to regress, to stay in one stage, only to fall back to a previous stage. This is just a normal part of making changes in your behavior. It is a dynamic process, and we are here to help you implement all of the tools.
We have the tools, and we are looking out for your best interests to give you a life, a fulfilling life that you deserve.